Do I Really Want That Third Child?

I find nature incredible.  The biological urge to have children is, indeed, strong.  In my case, it became strongest when I became a mother myself.  Ever since my second child, I have had an incredible urge to have another child.  Now that she has just turned two, I am wondering why does this urge remain so strong . . .  that is, until yesterday.

Yesterday, I was at JC Penney attempting to get my daughter’s two year-old picture taken.  When we arrived, there was a family already there getting ready to take pictures of their two girls: a two year-old and a two and a half week old. 

Of course, I SWOONED when I saw the newborn.  I love that stage!  I have always said that I should have been a pediatric nurse in a NICU unit.  Ahh, to hold those little ones in your arms everyday.  Must be the best job!  So, going back to my swooning, it wasn’t any different from the norm.  I even left the store thinking about that beautiful baby and was experiencing all those maternal feelings that you experience with a newborn. 

But I noticed there was something different this time around.  Although I thought about that beautiful newborn baby, those feelings didn’t last as long as in the past.  In a matter of minutes, I was fully engaged in the children’s clothing rack at Baby Gap, madly searching for some nice summer clothes for my daughter and son. 

Then, the thought of that newborn popped back into my head but this time it was in relief.  I started thinking how lucky I am, now that my daughter is turning two, that I am exiting the baby stage.  She just stopped using her “binky” two days ago and she just got off of drinking baby formula.  Soon we will get rid of the baby bottle and start potting training.  And you know what?  It felt good, it felt right.  I was at peace.   

All in all, it looks like the biological urge to have one more is dissipating.  Instead, the rational –and smart– part of me is taking over.  My life IS already full with two kids and, at my age (almost 43), why would I want to go through a pregnancy and all those baby stages all over again?

So, I think that I am finally free of my demons.  Now, I look forward to having a newborn in my arms as a grandma.  In the meantime, I am going to enjoy every second of the next 20-30 years of my children’s’ lives before that day comes. 

I just hope that I am not pregnant inasmuch as we did make a good faith attempt at a baby with the assistance of my Ovacue a couple of weeks ago.  Wouldn’t that be ironic!  At my age, there is only a 5% change of being able to conceive in any given month.  Crossing my fingers. . .

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From Infertility to Adoption – Part II

This lovely video clip speaks louder than words.  Enjoy!

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Secondary Infertility

Many couples successfully conceive their first child, and even a second, with the greatest of ease.  When this happens, both the couple and everyone around them fall into a false sense of security by assuming that the results can easily be repeated.  There seems to be a common misconception that once fertile, always fertile.   

I have met a few couples who easily got pregnant with their first child and, thus, were in no rush to have a second –even though they eventually knew that “one day” they would want a second child.  To their disappointment, when the years passed and they tried to have that second child, they were having the same problems that infertile couples have.  Talk about a shocker!

The internet is flooded with information about secondary infertility (defined as the inability to conceive and deliver a child after already having delivered one or more children).  However, many people are unaware of this problem.  Even fewer people know that secondary infertility accounts for approximately 60% of all infertility cases.

The reasons for secondary infertility are the same as those for primary infertility.  With proper help, many couples can overcome it.  The most common causes are semen abnormalities, ovulatory problems, endometriosis and uterine abnormalities. 

A major adversary of couples who suffer from secondary infertility, or primary infertility for that matter, is time.  Regardless of what a couple’s reproductive health is at any given moment, the passage of time will decrease their probabilities of success in having a baby.  Eggs get old and sperm are more likely to contain abnormalities.  As time passes, other parts of the reproductive apparatus also start to slow down and cease to operate (if they ever did) at optimum levels.  

Unfortunately, couples who suffer from secondary infertility are less likely to seek medical help than those who suffer from primary infertility.  Often, by the time they come around to seeking help, it is too late.  Again, the thought of once fertile, always fertile seems to be deep-seeded.  Even health practitioners have been known not to take the fertility problems of couples who already have children as seriously as those who are childless.

So what is the morale of the story?  Infertility can creep-up upon anyone, even those who already have children.  If you are having problems having a baby, seek help sooner than later.

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